I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize