I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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