Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
