You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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