i barfeds in our rink
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
