We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
