sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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