Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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