wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
