Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
