omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
