I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
