Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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