Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
