So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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