Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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