I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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