that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
