Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
