how can u be prego again
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
