he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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