I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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