I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
My pussy is not your playground.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
