Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
