its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
