and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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