I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
