i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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