We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize