I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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