I got chris browned last night
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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