I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
