The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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