So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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