A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
