Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
