So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
