went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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