I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
