she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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