he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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