he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
