She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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