K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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