Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I have aggressive nipples.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
