I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
