I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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