Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
