your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
