my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
