Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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