The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
