got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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