if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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