ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
