Plan B is the new Plan A
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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