HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
