these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Alive.
So much puke
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
