I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
