The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
