literally had 100 drinks last night.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
