Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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