last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
