I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
