My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize