# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
zippers are such a cool invention
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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